A Bisl Torah

I recently spoke with a congregant who shared the following life advice: “Treat every relationship like a flower in a garden. Pay attention to it. Water it. Get rid of the weeds. Just a few minutes a day allows the flower to bloom.” I couldn’t help but think about what happens when you oversaturate a flower. Put the flower in too much sunlight, the petals dry out. An overabundance of water, the plant drowns, unable to breathe. Just like gardening, paying attention in a relationship is actually a very tricky thing. In our closest of connections, it takes time to learn…

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This week’s Bisl Torah is featured in the Jewish Journal: Many of my conversations with people in abusive or volatile relationships begin with the following mental negotiation: “Rabbi, I understand that my current situation is unhealthy and unstable, but it is all I know. To leave this life is entering a new world I can’t begin to understand.” The negotiation is often the nurturing of an inner dialogue, a back and forth between an existence that while detrimental, is predictable and another that while, pulsating with the unknown, is filled with endless possibility. Some choose light; but so many return…

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Is it possible to let go? In the story of Creation, God ceases work at the beginning of the seventh day and blesses the seventh day by instituting rest. In essence, Shabbat begins. Sforno, the Italian commentator on the Torah wonders how one would be able to determine this exact moment: the end of sixth and beginning of the seventh day. He cites Bereshit Rabbah which says that the instance Shabbat begins is as thin as a hair’s breadth. Meaning, the span between work and respite is very small, almost impossible to feel or see. It also means that it…

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These past few days in the sukkah have been nothing short of magical. The food, company, sweet smells of the outdoors, and special time allotted to reconnect with familiar faces and engage with friends anew. The challenge is transposing life within the sukkah post the seven days of Sukkot. How does the joy experienced during this finite time make its way past the makeshift booths and into the monotonous details of everyday life? Such is the sentiment expressed by British novelist and Jewish communal leader, Israel Zangwill in his poem, “A Tabernacle Thought”: Lovely grapes and apples, And such pretty…

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Jewish law advises that one should build a sukkah immediately at the end of Yom Kippur. Why? It is meritorious to go from one mitzvah to another. On Yom Kippur we spend thoughtful moments taking an account of our soul. We pray to God for the ability to forgive and be forgiven, wrestle with our mortality, and name where we fall and which parts of our lives need repair. In other words, we shape our spiritual lives. On Sukkot, we build our spiritual homes. Literally, we drive a nail into the ground and put up a sukkah, a temporary structure…

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Over the Days of Awe, so many of us return to the synagogue, seeking something. In response, Rabbi Harold Kushner writes the following: “It may well be the case that the word “religion” is related to the word “ligament,” from the Latin ligare, ‘to connect.’ One might argue that the word refers to beliefs that connect a person to God, but I am inclined to side with Emil Durkheim that the role of religion is to bind us to other people in order to evoke together the sense that God is in our midst. We don’t go to church or…

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In just a few days, many of us will sit in synagogue, trying to achieve…something. Inspiration, a change of heart, motivation to conquer the year’s challenges and trials. Instead of waiting for something to happen, let’s start preparing…right now. Enjoy this spiritual homework from Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel: What does a person expect to attain when entering a synagogue? In the pursuit of learning, one goes to the library; for esthetic enrichment, one goes to the art museum; for pure music, to the concert hall. What then, is the purpose of going to the synagogue? Many are the facilities that…

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It is the season for change. As I was thinking about growth and improvement, I realized something shouldn’t diminish in the process: sense of self. Of all facets of life, being true to my values and morals and honest with who I am…that I want to stay exactly the same. Change allows life to continue, a forward movement. But if we lose ourselves in the process, the tikkun (repair) is for naught. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” We all wish it was that easy. To not allow someone else to chip away…

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In this season of searching for truths and wondering why and how, enjoy this beautiful musing from Gilda Radner: I wanted a perfect ending, So I sat down to write the book with the ending in place before there even was an ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Like my life, this book has ambiguity. Like my life, this book is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next….

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It is hard to admit that “confessional” stands at the heart of the High Holy Day season. But throughout the liturgy, we beat our chests, publicly state our misgivings and pray that God has enough compassion this year to guide through repentance and change. To place confession at the core of the holidays means that we each have something to admit; something we’ve concealed and would rather keep unrevealed. Confession conveys that we are all hiding something from someone. The Maharal of Prague said, “All the month of Elul, before eating and sleeping, a person should look into his soul…

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